a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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