My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
