Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
