just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
