Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
