This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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