I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
