Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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