i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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