i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
