what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
