i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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