Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.

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(214): View more from Texas

My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night

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(303): View more from Colorado

You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?

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(770): View more from Georgia

i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

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(210): View more from Texas

I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Did you put my shoes in the freezer.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.

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