Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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