Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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