pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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