she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Every concussion has its silver lining
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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