I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
