How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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