guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
