I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
