The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
