Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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