loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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