nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
