So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
