Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
