I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
