I can tuck mytits in my pants
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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