Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
