Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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