Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
