Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
