I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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