he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
