I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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