Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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