I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
