i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
