Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
