Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
