we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
