i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
