So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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