he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
