I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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