did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
