Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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