he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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