this beer tastes like vomit already
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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