it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
